


Narcissistic Love

by Ashratherose



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A/B/O, Abuse, Alpha Levi, Anal, Dubious Consent, M/M, More tags to be added, Mpreg, Omega Eren, Possessive Levi, Sex, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, abortion... maybe...., love through violence, probably a dark fic...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-06 10:17:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11034159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: [Define] Narcissistic abuse:The initial narcissistic abuse begins with belittling comments and grows to contempt, ignoring behavior, adultery, sabotage, and, at times, physical abuse. At the core of a narcissist is a combination of entitlement and low self-esteem. These feelings of inadequacy are projected onto the victimUnpresented Eren is forced to take Levi's bonding mark. His clean captain is clearly disgusted by Eren's carnal needs...Yep.Sex, abuse, possibly self harm. I'll let you know when I do! Xx





	1. Chapter 1

Eren was irate. He paced the confines of his cell, grinding his teeth as he clenched and unclenched his hands. There was little wonder as to why they'd chosen now to spring it upon him and deep down he understood their reasoning, but still. He was pissed. Angrily he stalked to his bed and threw himself down. It wasn't unusual to not have presented by the age of 15, nor was it unusual not wear a bonding mark this young, but there he was unpresented and they wanted him to wear Levi's mark. It felt like he was having his secondary dynamic forced upon and he hated it. He could die any day and it would be Levi who would suffer, he didn't understand why the man would let his superiors talk him into such a thing. He hung his head and one hand came up to rub at his nape. This was fucked.

His mood only worsened, his captain was supposedly filling out some kind of paperwork about all this and would be marking him once it was all complete. All he wanted to do was slay titans, but no one seemed to believe him, shackling him down no matter what he did or said. It fucking hurt. He didn't understand any of this, and now he was about to have yet another choice made for him... for the good of humanity. What Armin say? Mikasa would be furious, he wasn't oblivious to his adopted sisters feelings, but he just didn't return them. He couldn't, she would always be his sister. He let out an angry growl wishing he'd present on the spot... wishing he'd present beta or alpha and make them rethink this whole stupid shitty plan. Levi was his idol and at the same time, his commander scared the shit out of him and now they were to be bonded. The thoughts ran round and round, blurring and mixing, only serving to leave him more frustrated. Why couldn't they just pump him full of suppressants or contraceptives. He jumped as he heard the steps coming down the cold rough stone stairs. He didn't want this. He wasn't ready for this.

"Eren"  
Levi voice was cold and that one word sent a shiver down his spine. His captain unlocked his cell door and stepped in and Eren stayed stock still. He couldn't bring himself to look the man in the eye. Here was humanities strongest, he deserved the very best mate... not a shitty titan shifting brat   
"Look, I know you aren't happy. But it's either that or chains"  
Eren nodded silently, Levi wasn't telling him anything he didn't know  
"Are you going to sit and sulk?"  
"Can you just do it already. There's no point wasting time when we both know this is something that's not wanted"  
Levi crossed over to him and grabbed him by the hair, yanking his head up and forcing him to look at him. The man's face was expressionless  
"Do you understand what happens once you were the mark?"  
"Yes sir"  
"I'm sorry it has to be like this. Keep your head down and don't fuck this up"  
Levi released his hair and moved around him, his captain wiped the back of his neck with something and Eren's body tingled. Whenever Levi was around his body seemed to come alive on its own accord. He felt Levi's breath against his skin and then he screamed as the man's teeth sank into his flesh. Tears filled his eyes and he couldn't believe he actually came in his pants. His arse felt damp and his head was foggy. The whole process was over in seconds and left him a confused mess. Levi released him and he slumped limply to the floor  
"Oi, brat! No dying"  
Eren shook as his thighs grew damper. His face burnt and his tears spilled over. He was beyond humiliated. Levi grabbed his arm and it felt like an electric shock. His captain lifted him easily and practically threw him down onto his bed   
"Clean yourself up. I expect you on time for training tomorrow"  
With that Levi left and Eren curled into a ball. He felt so disgusted and betrayed by his body. By morning everyone would know... know he was Levi's bitch. He whimpered. This wasn't how things were supposed to be at all.

*  
When Eren awoke he was confused. His whole body was drenched in sweat to the point his blankets and clothes were dripping wet. A rolling cramping sensation set low in his stomach and he felt like something was missing. But worst of all he couldn't get past the haze in his mind.

Pushing himself up, he moved to the bucket of water in the corner of the room. He stripped down and grabbed the cloth he used for bathing, it was still damp from when he'd cleaned himself down the previous night. Once again the cloth slid over his skin. He couldn't wait until he could shower properly. He wiped the slick that had dried across his arse and thighs during the night with angry tears. Why'd it have to turn out like this.

Hanji came and got him instead of Levi and he didn't know if he was relieved or not. She sat him down on his bed and insisted on poking and prodding him just about everywhere. When her fingers ghosted over the back of his neck, he found tears welling in his eyes and he didn't know why. She gently explained that his emotions would be all over the place until his body finally adjusted. He felt like a complete moron for crying.

His day didn't improve.

The tests he was supposed to do with Hanji seemed to take forever. The rolling cramping in his stomach only grew worse and his whole body burnt. He couldn't even walk straight by the end of it and his senses went into over drive when Levi walked in. His eyes went straight to the man, and the cramps dropped him to this his knees, his arms firmly wrapped around his waist as he whimpered. This man was his mate  
"Oi shitty glasses! What the fucks wrong with him?"  
Eren didn't hear Hanji's reply, his body was screaming at him to go to Levi. A cold hand landed against his forehead and he moaned in relief  
"He's burning up..."  
"Eren, can you tell me how you feel?"  
He was surprised Hanji had to ask. His arse and thighs were soaked, his body was burning and his erection was throbbing for release. He felt like he was going to implode, he was so aroused he didn't even feel ashamed  
"H-hot..."  
"Levi, help me get him back onto the table"  
When Levi's hands touched him, he whined and whimpered, the man's touch soothed the fever, but the aching in his stomach persisted. He realised it was the need to be bred and let out a choked sob  
"Settle down, brat"  
Levi's hands left his skin all too soon, and he tried to crawl into a ball, but another set of hands, presumably Hanji's, wouldn't let him  
"Levi you should leave. He's going into heat. I'm actually pretty surprised you aren't affected by it"  
"It's fine. I'll take him back to his cell"  
"Levi, I don't think that's the best idea. Even the strongest of alphas struggle with an omega in heat, let alone their mate"  
"It's fine, I don't have his mark"  
Eren shuddered as Levi lifted him. He blindly tried to pull Levi closer, the alphas smell was driving him mental. He kept his face buried against Levi's neck, everyone was probably staring, but he couldn't help but whine every time something caused Levi to readjust his hold.

*  
Levi laid him down on his bed and went to move away, Eren couldn't help but reach for the man  
"You need to rest"  
Levi tone was no indifferent from his normal coldness and Eren didn't understand. Wasn't he feeling anything. He grit his teeth as he ground out the words  
"You did this"  
Levi sighed deeply  
"You have a point. But you aren't thinking clearly"  
Eren whined as he wiggled, his underwear was so wet and the friction rubbing against his sensitive tip was driving him mental. He needed Levi...  
"Captain... please..."  
Reduced to begging would normally be humiliating, but he didn't care. He tried to struggle from his shirt, the fabric slipped from his shaking hands  
"I-I can't..."  
Levi hefted another sigh   
"Stay still"  
His captain slipped his shirt off with ease, and Eren moaned as the cold air hit his skin, a fine dusting of goosebumps erupted across his exposed skin   
"Pants too?"  
He nodded quickly and Levi pushed him down. The man first tugged his boots and socks off then his fingers brushed against Eren hips and Eren moaned as his back arched. Levi pulled his pants off, leaving his wet underwear on. The smell of slick filled the space and Eren shoved his hand down his underwear without even thinking about it. A few light tugs and he came. His heart was pounding and he struggled to breath. The cramping feeling only grew, it hurt. He didn't know how to describe how painful it was. Levi was right there, the man who could take away all his pain, probably laughing and mocking the pitiful sight he must be  
"S-sir... it hurts"  
"Shitty brat"

Eren felt Levi's hands on his thighs and his eyes rolled back as the man pulled off his underwear  
"Disgusting. Look how filthy you are"  
Eren's face was already burning, but the words only increased the sensation. He closed his eyes, the corners damp with tears... or sweat... he didn't know. He heard the rustling of fabric and a hand came to his throat, his captains fingertips danced lightly across his skin before the man closed his hand around his throat  
"Don't forget, you begged for this"  
The choking hold meant he couldn't reply, he trembled and spread his legs in need  
"What would your friends think if they could see you like this?"  
Eren rocked his hips up, whatever Levi was going to do, he'd take it. The man tightened his grip further to point he could barely breathe and then... he wanted to scream. Something hard pushed inside with no warning and he came across his stomach again  
"Pathetic"  
Lights danced across the blackness, his nerves tingled and he sucked in desperate breaths. He wanted to open his eyes, but was afraid it'd be a dream. His captain slammed into him hard, over and over, he could feel the cum pouring from his erection. It seemed to last forever, but only a few seconds at the same time. Levi's grip tightened yet again so he couldn't breathe. His back arched and his muscles tensed, his mouth was open in a silent scream and then he slumped down, Levi still firmly inside him, his captains knot held them firmly together and when Levi released his throat he took in a huge desperate breath. His whole body shook and tears rolled down his face  
"It's no good crying over something this small. Save your tears for something that matters"  
The alphas words were like a bucket of ice water. He wanted Levi out of him, but moving caused the knot to tug  
"Quit it. It'll be over soon enough"  
He ceased his struggles and laid there. His eyes still closed. He couldn't believe he'd begged for this. All he felt was shame.

When Levi pulled out Eren shuddered. He tried to roll onto his side, but his hips and arse were too sore and all he could do was whimper  
"Clean yourself up. Your friends arrive later today"  
He heard the shuffling of fabric and the man's weight shifted off the bed  
"Tch. Filthy"  
Those were his captains parting words.

Eren laid there and cried. The rolling cramping feeling was already returning and his bed was thoroughly wet beneath his arse. He wasn't supposed to be an omega... he wanted his mother, she'd know what to say, she'd know what to do.

*  
To say Mikasa wasn't impressed was an understatement. His sister was furious, not only at the fact he seemed to have presented as an omega and had a mating mark, but at the fact he was locked away like a criminal. Armin tried to pacify her, but she was past listening. Eren wanted to protest, to tell her it was necessary and fine, but he wasn't fine. He could smell the stink of alpha flowing from Mikasa and was grateful for the bars between them. She was clearly also being affected by his pheromones, only Armin seemed to be able to keep a clear head. He eventually managed to lead her away and Eren was plunged back into the feelings of suffocating loneliness and self disgust. 

Hanji came to see him later that night, thanks to the fever burning in his blood he couldn't focus on a single thing she said. He tried to read her lips, but that just left him more confused and she must have figured out nothing was sinking in, or asked him something and he hadn't replied. She held a syringe up and he nodded, he had no idea what he was agreeing too, but it had to be better than this. There was a slight prick and then a few seconds later he slumped sideways.

He awoke to find fresh bedding and a clean uniform folded on the cells only chair. Two buckets of water stood in the corner he used to bathe and the fever was smouldering in the background. He pushed himself up and felt something thick and wet sliding down his thighs. He let out a choked cry before stripping his bed, he wanted to forget that moment had ever happened. How was he supposed to face Levi... and Hanji surely knew... maybe they all knew... angrily he bundled up the crusty sheets and threw them in the corner before stalking over to scrub himself as clean as he could get. Once done he dressed and sat on his bed, without windows he had no concept of time and had no idea how long he sat before Levi came down. His captain didn't talk to him, instead he unlocked the cage and Eren stood. He followed the alpha wordlessly upstairs and through to the mess hall. The moment he walked in Jean called him over, he looked to Levi and the man gave a slight nod of his head. Eren moved over to his friends. He couldn't believe so many of them had chosen the Survey Corps. Reiner pulled him down to sit the mans arm covered the mating mark, so Eren was happy to let Reiner leave his arm there. Mikasa and Armin both looked worried. They all rushed to ask him a million and one questions, he went to open his mouth when a plate was almost slammed down in front of him  
"Eat and then you're to report to Hanji"  
Eren nodded, his throat was dry. Levi stood there scowling until he stuttered out a   
"Y-yes sir"  
His captain seemed happy enough, he moved to another table and Eren swallowed hard  
"What was that?"  
Jean elbowed him lightly and grinned  
"Captain Levi's ordered to execute me if I lose control..."  
Jeans face fell, the good atmosphere turned heavy in that instant. No one seemed to really know what to say, so Eren picked at his food until Reiner drew his arm back. Reiner didn't say anything so Eren wasn't sure if his friend had seen the mark or not.

Eren waited until it seemed like Levi was finished before saying goodbye to his friends. His feet felt heavy as he carried his plate over to he washed and then made his way towards the door, not at all surprised when Levi followed. On the way two Hanji he twice stumbled over his own feet earning him a "Tch" both times. His face was burning by the time he finally reached Hanji. He hoped Levi would leave, but his commander stood back with his arms crossed as she asked him about how he was feeling and if the injection helped... when he confirmed it had, her eyes practically sparkled. She wanted to know everything he'd felt before and after the shot. He could feel Levi's eyes on him as he struggled to explain the rolling cramping, though he left the fact that he'd begged Levi for help out of it. The whole time he spoke, his head was hung in shame.


	2. Chapter 2

The injection Hanji gave him only lasted 24 hours at a time, she warned that with frequent use his body would adjust at the time frame would get shorter with each dose.

He'd prayed the woman would be wrong. He already felt like an isolated freak. His friends ran hot and cold towards him and he still wasn't sure how Levi's squad truly felt towards him... they may have apologised after the spoon incident and their hands may now bare the bite marks. But he still felt like an outsider.

Levi had been called in for a meeting with Erwin and Eren was left to muck the stables out with Reiner and Bertholdt. He'd missed them both more than he'd realised, Reiner was like a big brother to everyone and his solid presence calmed him. They'd just finished the stables and were headed to clean down when the first cramp hit. He staggered and then straightened. This shot had barely lasted 4 hours. He could feel the fever beginning to burn in his blood and he wrapped his arms around himself. He needed to get back to his cell. When he staggered again, Reiner caught him. His skin tingled where the alpha held his arm and he tried to pull back. His body was screaming for an alpha... for Levi... but he couldn't turn to Levi. Not after last time. Reiner pulled him close and Eren heard him take a deep breath   
"Are you an omega?"  
Eren nodded and Reiner lifted him easily  
"Who'd they have you bond with? You shouldn't be alone right now"  
"Captain Levi. I just need to go back to my cell..."  
"We'll take you there, than get the captain for you"  
Eren shook his head  
"These kind of things disgust him"  
The words hurt to say, to admit out loud the alpha didn't want him  
"Hanji was treating me with shots, but they don't work so well after a while"

As Reiner began to move, Eren was forced to close his eyes. He couldn't stand everyone staring again. It wasn't until he felt a bed under his shaking body that he realised he wasn't in his own cell. He opened his eyes and found Reiner's face centimetres from his own  
"If Levi won't help you, will you let us?"  
Eren frowned, not sure he was completely comprehending Reiner's words   
"Bertholdt and I are both alphas, and we both care about what happens to you"  
Bertholdt moved forward and Reiner pulled him own into his lap. Knowing Eren was watching, Reiner took Bertholdt by the chin and pushed a hard needy kiss to his lips. The two kissed like they were in their own world and Eren shook as he watched, the smell of aroused alpha further stirred his own arousal. Unlike Mikasa, Reiner and Bertholdt didn't carry the same nasty smell, though neither were close to being as appealing as Levi. Breaking the kiss Reiner looked to him and he gave a small half nod.

Reiner stripped his own shirt off before Eren's, his hands slid across Eren's chest and down to work his pants off. Unlike Levi, Reiner took his time. He slowly peeled the layer of Eren's clothes off, and once Eren was naked he buried his face against Eren's neck, as Eren straddled his lap. Behind him the bed dipped and Bertholdts hands came to rest upon his hips. Both alphas licked and mouthed his neck and Eren shivered under their hands. Pulling back Reiner kissed him hard as he'd done Bertholdt, Eren moaned into his friends mouth and Bertholdt forced them to break the kiss, turning Eren's head so he too could kiss the omega. Reiner gave Bertholdt a small nod   
"Do you trust us?"  
Eren nodded, he still needed Levi's touch, but everything he was feeling between his two friends was exciting, his body was on fire and his erection already weeping. Behind him Bertholdt leant back, pulling Eren up against his chest as Reiner spread his legs further. The alpha slid form under him so Bertholdt was supporting him fully. 

Reiner ran his hands up and down Eren's thighs before burying his face against the teens sex. Eren moaned and his head lolled back against Bertholdt as Reiner's tongue brushed against his weeping opening. He could only pant and whine as the alpha opened him painfully slowly and completely before pulling back up and taking his erection into his mouth  
"Look at him, look at the way he falls apart between us"  
Reiner pulled back and teased Eren's slit with the tip of his tongue and Eren came with a low moan. Reiner sucked every drop from him, yet he was still aching to be filled   
"Alpha..."  
Eren opened his eyes and Reiner leant past him to kiss Bertholdt, Eren shivered from the moment of neglect, but soon enough Reiner pulled back and licked his lips  
"He tastes so sweet"  
Behind him Bertholdt nodded, he began to mouth Eren's neck again  
"Are you ready?"  
Eren nodded and Reiner lifted him by the thighs, both he and Bertholdt groaned as the alpha filled him, once again his head lolled against the alpha and Reiner moved closer. Eren didn't really realise what was happening until he shuddered through orgasm as he was stretched even further by Reiner sliding in. The feeling of being that full had his heart racing. The two alphas gave him a moment to adjust before Reiner began to move.

The room was silent other than the sounds of their panting. Eren shuddered and cum dribbled from his aching erection with each of Reiner's powerful thrusts. Bertholdt jerked him in time with his boyfriend movements and Eren was stuck in a state of pleasure he'd never known possible. When both alphas began to swell his eyes rolled back and he screamed, his whole body went rigid and both alphas rocked as the came up inside him. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. He could only lay against Bertholdt as he shivered through the aftershocks. As full as he was, it wasn't the same. It wasn't Levi's knot... and tears formed. He hated them all for forcing a bond upon him, for forcing his body into this decision and he hated how badly he wanted Levi to be the one buried up inside him. Reiner wiped his tears away and moved to hold both him and Bertholdt against him. The alpha was warm and solid and Eren wished Levi was the same.

Despite the fact that someone out there would have noticed their collective absences, Eren spent the next few hours with Reiner and Bertholdt, his two alpha friends soothed the cramping and held him gently, both kissing and touching him as they tried to comfort his omega side. They took turns to slowly fuck him, making sure Eren came before they'd knot him. By the end of it Eren was a sated mess and dosed off safely in their hold.

*  
He didn't feel the same degree of shame he had with Levi... maybe because he'd chosen this over begging his captain. Reiner was gentle as he cleaned him up and helped him redress. The marks on his skin were already gone and he was left with a dull throb in his hips, the only sign of what they'd spent the afternoon doing. He slipped from their room quietly and headed for his cell.

He winced as he stepped off the last step, Levi was sitting on the cells single chair and Eren hurried to move to stand in front of his bed  
"Where were you?"  
Eren swallowed, his throat was already dry, but now it hurt   
"With my friends sir. We were..."  
"I didn't ask for what you were doing. I can smell their stink all over you"  
Eren flinched as Levi stood and crossed the room  
"You think I want to touch you? Especially after what you've been doing?"  
Eren shook his head  
"Good. At least you know that much. You're coming with me"  
Eren nodded and followed Levi back upstairs and along the hall. They stopped in front of the communal bathroom and looked Levi looked to Eren   
"Open it"  
He did as he was told and they stepped into the empty room. His captain moved to stand in front of the door  
"Clean yourself. Your filthy"  
Eren nodded he moved towards a cubicle, he was reaching for the door and flinched when Levi's words echoed in the space  
"Leave it open. You have no right to privacy"

Eren stripped and carefully folded his clothes. He could feel Levi's eyes on and part of him was secretly thrilled to be filled with Reiner and Bertholdt's cum. The alpha couldn't ignore that fact. He turned the shower taps on and it took a couple of seconds before the hot came through. He stepped under the water and grabbed the soap form its holder. He took his time and soaped his body up slowly, he knew Levi was still watching him and lifted a leg to clean himself out. A snarl came like the crack of whip and Eren found himself shoved hard against the shower wall  
"You let them cum inside you"  
It wasn't a question, but an ice cold statement. The alpha behind him spread his cheeks and Eren gasped as two fingers were shoved inside him. It felt like Levi was attempting to scrape the cum from inside him and he flinched each time the man's fingers went deeper. He was terrified and incredibly aroused by the alpha's domination   
"Fucking revolting. Do you enjoy shaming me like this"  
Eren didn't trust himself to speak and shook his head  
"Than why did you do it?"  
He didn't reply and Levi slid his fingers back before pushing in hard and deep causing more pain than pleasure  
"Answer me"  
"Because you find me disgusting sir"  
Levi's fingers slid out and Eren's fingertip were the only thing stopping him from collapsing on the floor  
"Get on your knees"  
Eren didn't question his captain. He sank to his knees and felt the man grab his hair, he yanked Eren hard and the omegas knees scraped on the rough stone floor. He winced in pain until Levi released him and he opened his eyes to find the man had pulled out his own erection  
"Suck it"

Tears rolled down his face as he moved in. He had no idea what he was doing and tried to copy what Reiner had done to him. He licked as sucked concentrating on the tip, when he reached to jerk the base Levi yet again grabbed him by the hair  
"Don't fucking touch me. You will use your mouth. Understood"  
Eren nodded and Levi released him. He slid Levi's length back into his mouth, trying to lick and suck. Levi must have gotten sick of his inexperience, the alpha grabbed his hair and held his face against his groin as he bucked into Eren's mouth. He came without warning and Eren choked, still, Levi didn't let him pull back. Not until he'd finished. He slid from Eren's mouth and tucked himself back inside his pants  
"Finish showering and then I'll lock you back in the cell"

Eren stood, his knees shaking as he turned away from Levi. His mouth felt revolting, and his body was craving Levi's knot. Instead he washing his mouth out and recleaned himself down. Stepping out the shower he looked for a towel and Levi seemed amused  
"Redress"  
He nodded and pulled his clothes on. They clung to his wet skin and his boots were by far the worse. Once done Levi finally escorted him down to his cell and locked him away. He waited for the alpha to leave before bolting over to the bucket of water, he vomited up the man's cum and his body shook with after shocks. He was scared... the image of the man he'd respected so much was crumbling before his eyes and the monster within was rapidly becoming exposed. He truly feared the monster inside Levi may just be worse than the one inside him.


	3. Chapter 3

Eren sat on Hanji's examination bed in a state of shock. She gave him a clean bill of health and wanted to know about how things were going between him and Levi. It was one of the rare occasions he was alone with her and explained that Levi had refused to help him through his heat. Hanji had immediately begun to come up with theories about it, and Eren was sure she wanted to run tests on Levi the moment she got her hands on him. She asked what he'd done to elevate his symptoms and he'd blushed bright red when admitted to having a friend who helped him through it. Over that she wasn't terribly impressed, though she stated she understood. He knew he'd probably just given himself a bad name and went on to explain how he knew Levi didn't care for dirty things and how he'd found Eren slicking to be distasteful. The woman still nodded as he spoke and he wished she'd either get mad or send him on his way. Instead she told him she'd talk to Levi about it all and that's what left him in shock. 

Leaving Hanji's office he headed back to his cell. Given there had been cleaning products left outside the bars when he'd awoken, he'd taken it as a sign he was expected to clean the whole room to Levi's standards. He began to clean the moment he stepped inside the cell, first sweeping down the cobwebs and then the walls, before finally moving on to sweeping the floors and scrubbing them on his hands and knees. Being alone with his thoughts did he no favours. Levi would more than likely be mad about him talking to Hanji, but he couldn't control the needs of his second dynamic and if Levi wasn't going to take responsibility for marking him, it was only natural he'd turn to someone he trusted. He scrubbed the floors harder than necessary, working himself into a sweat that felt good after the lack of physical training. He hadn't spent all those years training just to be reduced to a lab experiment. Given the water had turned brown, he carried the bucket up and emptied it, before refilling it. He was heading back down when Levi stepped into his path. His cold eyes took Eren's breath away  
"What do you think you're doing?"  
"Cleaning sir. I needed fresh water"  
Levi looked annoyed and Eren took it to mean he should hurry up and get back to work. The alpha followed him down to the cell and let out a "Tch" of disgust  
"You haven't done anything"  
Levi moved ahead of him and into the cell. He flipped Eren's bed easily and took a seat on the chair  
"Do it properly"  
Eren's face burned as he entered the cell. He placed the water down and set about remaking his bed. Levi's eyes didn't leave him and he wondered what the alpha was thinking. He made the bed and stepped back  
"Wrong. Do it properly, I don't have all afternoon to waste on babysitting you"  
Eren eyed the creaseless bed. How could it possibly wrong? Still, he stripped it again and remade it. Again it was wrong and he was forced to do it over  
"Sir, what am I doing wrong?"  
Levi smirked as he rose. He walked past Eren and then turned to look back at the teen  
"Nothing. But you needed to be punished for lying to Hanji"  
Eren swallowed. He hadn't lied... not to his knowledge  
"Stand with your hands against the wall"  
Eren wasn't sure what to do, but Levi's voice was firm and he did as the man said. The alpha approached him from behind and a single finger ran across his nape  
"You will not discuss anything we do with anyone. If you do, I won't hesitate to cut you down like the monster you are"  
Eren nodded quickly  
"What was that?"  
"Yes sir"  
"Good. Keep your hands against the wall"  
"Yes sir"  
Eren had no idea what was coming, but he stood with his hands against the wall until he heard Levi sit again, he looked over his shoulder  
"Did I say you could look at me?"  
"No sir"  
He quickly looked back at the wall and Levi said nothing. He stood for what felt like hours, he felt exhausted under the alphas scrutinising glare.

"Do you regret it?"  
Eren jumped when Levi finally broke the silence  
"What sir?"  
"Fucking those other alpha's"  
He knew he should lie, but he didn't  
"No sir"  
He flinched a second later when the chair Levi had been sitting on his the wall next to his head  
"You will not do it again. You do not have my permission to be mounted like a bitch in heat. Understood"  
Eren nodded quickly, his heart was pounding  
"Yes sir"  
"Good. Now strip"  
"Sorry sir?"  
"Strip"  
Eren's hands shook as he followed his commanders orders. He stripped down to his underwear and closed his eyes  
"All the way Yeager"  
He pulled his underwear down and a burning blush crept across his face  
"Turn around and put your hands back on the wall"  
He hurried to obey and Levi came up behind him. A sharp pressure was pressed to the back of neck and he sucked in a breath  
"Spread your legs"  
He spread his legs and shifted back a little. The knife on his neck was pressed down harder and he dared not breathe. He bit hard on his lip as a the blunt head of his captains erection pushed inside him. He trembled as Levi began to move and he could taste blood from how hard he was biting his lip. With the blade against his nape, Levi fucked and knotted him before sliding it around his neck, he could feel the sting of the tip slicing through his neck and any arousal he may have felt was gone in an instant. Levi said nothing, even when he pulled out and then kicked his knees out from under him the man remained silent. Eren's teeth finally went through his lip when his knees his the floor  
"This room is filthy. Redo it"  
Eren nodded and struggled up. He pulled his pants on and the small amount of blood from his knees seeped onto the white fabric of his pants. Blood dribbled before his lip began to steam as he pulled his teeth out. He didn't expect what Levi did next. The man ran his thumb over the blood on his chin and then licked it off. That action cemented his thought that Levi was a monster in the skin of a man. Once dressed he cleaned the room again and once done Levi left, locking the door behind him. Eren finally let out a shaky breath. He had no idea what to do.

*  
Days had passed since the death of Levi's squad and he blamed himself. He was sure the alpha, like everyone else, blamed him too and the guilt was eating him alive. Anything he ate he'd vomit straight back up and he was growing more pathetic as the days passed. The end result of which was isolation in the infirmary. Hanji was sympathetic, but he was sure it was an act, he'd caused the death of her friends after all. She forced him to eat and when he continued to vomit, she forced Levi to come down and take him into his custody. Eren was terrified as he followed Levi through the halls. He didn't know where they were going until Levi pulled a key out and unlocked a door. Behind it laid the alphas private quarters  
"Sit on the bed"  
Eren swallowed and did as he said. The alpha crossed to his desk and fiddled with the draws, returning with a small folded piece of paper. He poured a glass of water from the pitcher beside the bed and then unfolded the paper, pouring its contents into the water and waiting until it was fully dissolved before handing it to the omega  
"Drink it"  
"What is it sir?"  
"You don't need to know"  
Eren frowned, but still drained the glass. He placed it back on the bedside table and almost immediately felt drowsy. He went to stand but couldn't move, instead he slumped back onto Levi's bed and into darkness.

He'd never felt anything like it before. Waking up his body was burning, cramps of a different kind rolled though his stomach and hips and something felt very wrong. Opening his eyes he let out a whimper, he'd been stripped while he slept and now laid on a folded towel on what he assumed to be Levi's private bathroom's floor. He looked down between his legs, thick bloody material covered his thighs and his fingers shook as he reached down and touch it. Realisation hit him and he let out a sob  
"So you're finally awake. Clean up and then come out when your done"  
Angry tears rolled down his cheeks  
"Did you do what I think you did?"  
Levi's eyes narrowed at his question  
"I was not letting you carry some bastard abomination"  
Eren's hands went to his stomach. The life he hadn't even known existed was taken by the man who's mark he bore. Anger surged through his veins and he launched himself at his commander. Levi laughed as he easily stepped aside and booted him hard in his already tender stomach. He felt a thick, almost slimy fluid forced from him and it rolled down his thigh, whimpering he dropped with his arms around his stomach. Levi grabbed his hair and pulled him up  
"This is what happens when you slut around. Now clean that shit up"  
Levi released him and Eren didn't move. The alpha was obviously displeased with this and Eren could smell the anger pouring off him. He closed his eyes and heard Levi moving around and then the sound of running water. Taking his hair again, Levi dragged him across to the shower and threw him in. The water was scalding hot and Eren sobbed unashamedly. How could this man be so respected? He laid there in a ball until his tears ran dry and he gritted his teeth. Levi wouldn't get the best of him.

Stepping out the shower, he kept the towel around his waist. A second one has been laid out at some point and this was the one he now wore. His clothes weren't in sight and not knowing what to do, he sat on Levi's bed silently.


	4. Chapter 4

Stepping out the shower, he kept the towel around his waist. A second one has been laid out at some point and this was the one he now wore. His clothes weren't in sight and not knowing what to do, he sat on Levi's bed silently  
"Did you clean yourself out thoroughly?"  
Eren nodded at Levi's words, the alpha looked up at him from the paper strewn desk   
"Yes, sir"  
"Good. Next time you decide to fuck other people and get pregnant, I'll cut it out myself"  
Eren was sure Levi meant every word and his hands came to his stomach causing the alpha to throw something down and push his chair back hard enough to fill the room with the sound of it scraping. His captain crosses over to him and Eren expected he would be hit instead Levi squatted down in front of him and brushed his head back from his face. The action was so sweet and intimate that Eren had to wonder if perhaps he was still unconscious somewhere   
"You should rest, we have a big mission coming up in the morning. Try not to think about what's happening"  
Levi took his arm and pulled him up before pulling back the sheets and practically forcing him to lay down. The whole bed smelt like the short alpha and Eren's instincts took over, he nuzzled into the pillow and his body began to calm from his alpha's scent. He was so confused by Levi's kind attitude and could only put it down to the fact the man had drugged him and felt some kind of regret. Whatever it was, it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but woke up in a bloodied mess. His stomach was no longer cramping and he pushed himself up. Levi lay across from and Eren flinched then he realised the alpha had been watching him sleep  
"How do you feel?"  
Hollow? Empty? Confused? Angered? He didn't know which description was safe to use  
"I'll be fine sir"  
"Good. Now go shower or we're going to be late"  
Eren flushed red as he pulled back the sheets. The bloody discharge had soaked the towel and he could feel dried blood across his hips and arse. He let the towel drop and gave Levi a clear view of the mess the man had caused as he moved to the bathroom. Once inside the shower he gently cleaned himself ignoring the pain both physically and emotionally. Everything has happening too fast.

*  
Annie's betrayal left him gutted. He almost wished he'd remained impaled upon the wooden stake. But his anger pushed him on. He wasn't going to die here, he wasn't going to let this be the end of him. He'd move past them all. 

Waking up to find Mikasa and Armin with him had been a relief, he didn't know what he would have done or said if it'd been his captain. His head was throbbing and sickening feeling had settled in his stomach. Mikasa tended to him like a concerned mother, and Armin seemed almost cautious about what he said. The silence they'd been left in was shattered by Levi and Hanji's arrival. Hanji wanted to know everything, while Levi stood leaning against the wall with one knee bent. The alpha stared holes in him and he self consciously raised a hand to his bandaged head. Just because his physical wounds had healed, didn't mean the throbbing wasn't intensifying. Once he'd explained his side of events, Hanji evicted everyone except Levi from the room and Eren shut his eyes. He didn't expect the alpha to walk over and grab him by his shirt collar   
"What the fuck were you thinking! You could have fucking died. Your body doesn't belong to you anymore"  
Eren kept his eyes shut. It wasn't like he asked to be impaled. It wasn't like he asked for any of this, he may have stopped Annie but it wasn't like he didn't feel some form of regret. He was still struggling to comprehend his friend had left him to suffer the curse of being a monster alone.

"Strip"  
Eren finally opened his eyes to find Levi was deadly serious. He whimpered as his body protested against moving and Levi impatiently pulled his shirt off. The man was just as careful as he basically tore Eren's pants down and flipped him over. Vomit rose and burnt at his throat. The bed dipped and his hips were lifted  
"Open your eyes"  
Eren did as he was told, the room swayed in and out of focus, but as something cold was pressed against his temple, he looked toward the object. Levi's gun was placed firmly against his skin and he swallowed hard, the man pulled back the hammer  
"If you ever let yourself be injured again like that, I won't hesitate to pull the trigger"  
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes again. The alpha slid the gun down his skin and across his shoulders and down his spine. Levi's free hands slid down his inner thighs, spreading his knees and granting Levi access inside. He shivered as the gun slid lower and then rubbed against his entrance, he bit down a sob and Levi pushed inside. He slowly fucked him with the barrel until Eren slicked, the alpha pulled back and Eren shivered, Levi's blunt erection shoved inside and Eren vomited without meaning too. Levi didn't break his rhythm. He brought Eren to climax as he knotted. The alpha placed the gun upon the small of his back, Levi's hands moved across his chest and up over his racing heart  
"Don't forget you maybe a monster, but you belong to me"  
Eren swallowed hard and Levi's hands remained on his chest until the alphas knot deflated and he slid out. Eren slumped down against the bed and Levi ruffled his hair. He couldn't work out the man's gesture and said nothing as Levi redressed himself. The alpha pulled him up so he was sitting and handed Eren back his clothes   
"I'll send Mikasa and Armin back into clean up that mess"  
Those were Levi's parting words and Eren tugged his clothes on, he was redressed and stripping the bed by the time his friends came back. Mikasa scowled and Eren blushed slightly, he was sure his sister knew what had just happened between him and Levi. Armin watched him bundle the sheets up  
"I threw up... must be the head injury"  
Armin's eyes widen and he nodded at Eren's weak excuse. The omegas mind was on Levi's weird behaviour, something else was going on.

Leaving the room he was immediately immersed into chaos. Preparations were being made and Hanji had no time to spare, still it might have been the look in his eyes, and granted him a few moments of her time  
"Eren, what is it?"  
An unknown soldier came and whispered into her ear, she replied and the soldier left again   
"If you're busy, it can wait..."  
"I'm busy, but you look like you need to talk?"  
"I... what kind of man is Captain Levi... no matter how I try? I can't figure him out"  
Hanji let out a long breath  
"I was worried! Look, Levi might be hard to get to figure out initially, but he's a good man. He cares for everyone under his command, even if it doesn't show. Besides, he's the one who told them he'd mark you. They originally wanted it to be Erwin..."  
Another soldier came up to Hanji and the woman gave him a small sympathetic smile  
"Sorry..."  
She rushed off and Eren was left alone until Mikasa and Armin rejoined him. He was confused as hell about why Levi would chose him... he'd thought it'd been forced upon the alpha... he knew it was more than likely due to the mark, but the idea that humanities strong had chosen a monster like him was a rush.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse the necessary filler to bring us to the setting I wanted

The sight of Ymir laying so broken as Krista cried drove home how he must have looked to Armin. Although she had saved their friends, when all he'd done was get himself eaten. He couldn't believe that yet again someone he'd considered a friend had been lying to him. Was he really such a bad person? Did he deserve the crippling loneliness that haunted his dreams? To be left behind and lied to by those he considered family... it hurt.

But Reiner and Bertholdt... the two he'd turned to to soothe the aching pain of his heat... that he couldn't forgive. They'd known all along and he was left to wonder if they'd ever even cared... his skin crawled and anger radiate. To leave with them... why would he do that when everything he thought he had built between them was lie. The pain was nearly as crippling as the anger... but not quite. He'd let them inside his deepest parts and quite probably fallen pregnant to one of them and they'd admitted to ruining the lives of hundreds of thousands. His skin crawled and a different kind of fever rolled through his blood, his body burning with the need to give all those deaths some purpose. He needed to stop Reiner. He needed to stop Bertholdt. He needed to know why.

When Mikasa's blades failed he was shocked, his sister had hesitated... she allowed her feelings to bleed through to her blades. Reiner and Bertholdt seemed as shocked by her as she did herself. He desperately wanted this all to be a joke, for Reiner to admit it was all in poor taste, but then... it happened and the truth was driven home. Just how many of them were there out there, who was next? Sasha? Jean or Connie? Where did this all end? 

It was humiliating how easily Reiner sent him flying, he couldn't win with raw strength alone... not when Reiner had the advantage in every way. Reiner was fighting for what he believed was right, Eren could see it in his eyes. It was just a shame the man he considered a big brother had it so very wrong. Maybe if they'd been alone, they could have found a way for things not to have come to this. He needed to stop Reiner before he fell even further from grace. Rearing up, he tried to put everything he felt. The pain, the nausea, the hate, the anger and disappointment. He'd made Reiner understand all these things before granting the alpha death.

But once again he fell short. His best failed to be good enough. He'd failed them all yet again. Waking up to find Ymir just as stuck as him was a small comfort. He almost wished he could ignore her cold logic and just shift. Looking at the two alphas hurt. He wondered how they'd feel if they knew Levi had aborted the child inside... but he couldn't say such things in front of Ymir, so he was forced to sit. To wait, like some pathetic doll in a window. Spurred in by Ymir's words, he couldn't hold his tongue any longer, but Reiner took it all so calmly  
"The me you knew is dead"  
Eren knew he was naive, but all he wanted was a safe world free from the titans tyranny an words weren't going to accomplish that anymore. The only way to win was to give into the darkness, to embrace the monster inside. When Reiner grabbed him he should have bitten his tongue and turned, he could have stalled for precious seconds even if had cost him his own life... and now Krista was stuck by his side while he was just struck dumb. Why was he so fucking useless? He slipped in and out consciousness pathetically. Krista, Ymir, Jean and Connie, their desperate words jumped and jumbled in his ears... but it was the lies of Bertholdt that widened his eyes, he could smell the alpha was itching to unleash his titan form, to tear and destroy, yet he sprouted lie after lie like it was nothing.

Around him his comrades were once again being slaughtered, all because they believed in him. It was as if he'd killed them all... they should have left him, they should have forgotten him, but they came for him once again and rushed to the cruelest of deaths. Screams and blood filled his senses, even the galloping hooves beneath fell away, and then he was falling and the face that had haunted the darkest depths of his minds smiled so happily at him. It was the same titan. Still smiling the same revolting smile, even as Hannes was torn in two. The man has always been a fool and a dreamer, but to Eren he'd been family and tears spilled as he roared in pain. Twice now this titan had claimed his family, all he had left was Mikasa and Armin, but Armin wasn't there and Mikasa... she wasn't in good shape. Desperately he begged to whatever god was listening as his bit the side of his tongue and tried to shift. What happened next was impossible, the titans began to cannibalise the smiling bitch, the disgusting scene giving them a chance to escape. But the price was far too high.

And for what?

*  
Reuniting with Levi had been tough. They'd been moved to the middle of nowhere, a place it was impossible to have secrets and Levi seemed to be enjoying putting him on the spot, his captain didn't miss a chance to impress upon him how much was riding on his abilities and despite the facade he portrayed, he was drowning. Drowning in the weight of all that had happened and all that was to come. He hadn't realised he'd stolen a knife from the kitchen until long after the deed had been done. He didn't remember walking the halls, nor slipping out the cabin and wandering into the woods. He didn't remember drawing the knife across his wrist, all he could remember was the pleasure he felt. A pleasure so deep he began to slick and pant. Over and over the blade sliced through his skin and his head grew foggy, perhaps from blood loss or perhaps from the pleasure he was drunk off. It didn't matter how many times he cut, it wasn't like he'd die. He grew more brazen with the knife, pushing the tip harder against his skin and dragging it through his flesh. A laugh escaped his lips while tears ran down his face. He really was a monster. The knife slipped from his fingers and his laughter turned to sobs. Reiner, Bertholdt, Ymir and Annie. If only those days of training could have lasted, if only they could have remained friends.

The next time he opened his eyes he was confused. He was no longer outside and his arms and legs couldn't move. It took a couple of blinks to clean the dancing spots from his eyes and he came to realise he was firmly chained against a bed. He struggled and strained against the chain as his heart pounded  
"Settle down you shitty brat"  
Even without looking he knew Levi was piss and a small sigh spilled from his lips. The bed beside him dipped and Levi's face came into view   
"Are you wondering why you're chained up?"  
Eren gave no answer, whatever he said wouldn't be enough  
"You tried to die again. You tried to leave behind your sins"  
Eren bit his lip and Levi slid his hand up his thin shirt  
"You tried to leave me. The only one who sees your monster inside"  
A shiver ran down his spine and he sucked in a breath, the alphas fingertips were barely ghosting across his skin now, but fire flared from each place he touched. Taking his other hand, Levi carded his hair gently, before twisting the locks between his fingers and yanking Eren up, forcing a hard kiss to his lips   
"You look like a newborn lamb. So weak and fragile, desperately trying to figure out your place as you stumble and fall. You have no idea what that does to the monster in me"  
The hand that had been up his shirt slipped down to his pants, the alpha slid them down as much as the chains allowed and blew lightly against his half hard erection  
"You love it don't you. That crushing pain you drown yourself in?"  
He bit his lips as tears formed in the corners of his eyes and Levi's hand released his hair. The man pulled down his underwear completely and Eren wasn't given any morning before his captains hand jerked his lightly  
"You are bound to me. You are mine alone to do as with I please. You have no life, you have no body. Everything you are inside, belongs to me. Especially that side of you that only I can ever see"  
Levi's hands left him and he was pulled down the bed, stretching and straining his shoulders. Still he said nothing. What was there to say?

Levi laughed as Eren hissed in pain at being breached. With his legs spread and bent the chains bit into his skin and it wasn't long before his muscles screamed he needed to move. He panted as Levi pounded against that one spot that made his eyes roll. Even once the alpha had knotted him, Levi didn't speak. So he didn't either. Instead he shook as he was betrayed by his body, his cum laid drying on his stomach and his face burnt  
"The one person you can't lie to is yourself"

After Levi slid free, he undid the chains and Eren curled into ball, he tried to draw in shaky breaths, but it didn't help. He'd thought Levi would leave, but yelped when a cold went cloth wiped across his arse  
"Fucking disgusting"  
Levi wiped him down and then grabbed him by the arm, forcing him to uncurl as he wiped the semen away. Levi held the cloth to his stomach a moment longer than he was comfortable with. It was after that that Levi finally left.


	6. Chapter 6

It was like a game of cat and mouse. The mark upon his neck made him crave Levi's touch, but the brutal honestly of his failures was driving him crazy. The fact he couldn't harden hurt, everything hinged on that and then there was the fact he couldn't remember. Levi stayed and watched over him as he struggled to try and regain something from the experiments. Levi moved to the sit on the side of the bed, his hand came up and cupped the side of Eren's face   
"You nearly lost yourself completely, this face you wear was a mess"  
Eren nodded slowly and Levi leant in, his lips brushed over Eren's, his heart was racing and his throat was tight, the alphas tongue slid into his mouth delving deeply and almost lovingly, Levi was being so uncharacteristically gentle and the man's hand slid from his cheek. He pushed Eren back down and moved to straddle the teen  
"You struggle so pitifully against this monster of yours"  
The man hands came down to push slightly on his stomach   
"It's like watching a butterfly in a cocoon... your changing but you don't know what you'll become, so you struggle. It makes me want to pull your wings off and devour you whole"

Levi slid back and his hands worked at undoing Eren's thin pants, the alpha peppered kisses to the spot on the stomach his hands had been covering and Eren closed his eyes  
"I want to see that darkness and madness consume you... I want to breed you just to see if what you give birth to is even human"  
Eren shivered at the mans words, and Levi tugged down his pants. The alpha palmed lightly at his flaccid penis, jerking him into arousal as if it was all a game, still his body betrayed him, small whimpers and pants slipped from his lips as his hands clutched the sheets beneath them  
"Even now you struggle. Let it go Eren, give yourself to the darkness inside"  
Eren shook his head and then moaned as a hot wet feeling engulfed his erection, he could feel himself becoming slicker by the second ask Levi licked and sucked him towards orgasm. He moaned and panted as he rocked his hips up in need, fucking the alphas mouth with no protest from the man, he has no words to describe the feeling filling every cell of his body, he was so very close, but then Levi pulled off. Eren let out a groan and one hand went to leave the sheets.

"Don't move"  
The ice in Levi's voice paralysed him. The alpha spread his legs   
"You feel like you're going crazy don't you?"  
He bit his tongue and nodded  
"Image what everyone would think if they could see you now. This moralless creature filled with the carnal need to be bred"  
Eren sucked in a breath  
"I will breed you over and over until you know with every fibre of your soul that you belong to me alone"  
Levi pushed in hard, not giving him any time to adjust, but the burning pain from being stretched so perfectly had him cumming hard across his stomach and chest, Levi let out a low laugh  
"Pathetic"  
Eren's face burned, but despite the alpha calling him pathetic, Levi fucked him over and over until he was a limp and leaking mess. He didn't know how many times the man had brought him to orgasm and tears ran down his face as the pain and degradation Levi gifted him so easily. He moaned when Levi's hands pressed against his stomach, the sound completely involuntary, falling through his clenched teeth   
"Lets see if two monsters can produce a man"  
Not caring he was still knotted inside the teen, Levi pulled back, his knot catching and scraping, before being forcibly pulled out. Eren screamed, but he vaguely felt more cum dribble from his aching penis that laid limply against his thigh. He didn't expect the alpha to move and kiss him gently after all he'd done  
"Rest. We'll continue after tomorrow's experiments"

For a long time after Levi left, Eren laid there. His mind firmly fixed on Levi. The man wanted him to give into his monster... it wasn't like he didn't know the warmth and comfort of being inside his titan and it wouldn't be hard to let himself be consumed... but what would happen then? Hanji said he was firmly fused... would he disappear entirely and leave his friends behind? But what was the alternative? Levi wanted to breed him, just to see if their child could be called human, what kind of life would that be for their offspring...? He couldn't do it... even if his omega was satisfied from being so full of, and completely fucked by, the man who's mark he bore, he had no intention of giving Levi what he wanted. He'd never carry the man's children for a reason like that. If giving ones self over to ones monster left him as warped and jaded as his captain, then he'd find his own way to cage the beast inside.

*  
The following day he didn't have the chance to talk with Hanji and once again Levi came and toyed with his monster, leaving him broken just that little bit more. This went on for the remainder of the week and Eren came to realise Levi was going everything he could to alienate him from the group. If he was talking to his friends, the alpha would take him away or assign him silly small job to do. If he tried to talk to Hanji, Levi would stand by his side, preventing him from asking for her help. Everything he did or said was being controlled by his captain. So once again he found himself doing something drastic. 

He waited that night, 9 days after the first time Levi had told him he'd breed him. His body was beyond sore, but he dressed anyway and slipped from his room and down to the kitchen. He winced as the floorboards creaked, but the night was otherwise silent and he crossed the gap to the counter. His hands fumbled in the dark as he searched the draws for a knife. If he made enough mess, surely Hanji would see fit to examine him alone... he'd lie... in a way... but it would be for the best. 

He pulled the first knife he found out, and ran the blade firmly across the palm of his hand. It was almost funny how little it hurt after what Levi had done to him and he dragged his bloodied hand over the counter. The smear was there, but not big enough and he lifted his palm, adding another 3 cuts to it. Small tendrils of steam rose and he rushed to smear more blood against the counter, before beginning to make his way back to towards his room. It was a slow process, but he was confident he'd left enough blood to raise questions and when he finally fell into his bed he slid the blade under his pillow. Come tomorrow things would look brighter...


	7. Chapter 7

He awoke to a very upset Mikasa grabbing hold of him and pulling him into a tight hug, his door was wide open and behind his sister Armin, Levi and Hanji stood in the doorway. His alpha was clearly not pleased over his actions  
"Eren! What happened, why was there blood?"  
Hanji came up behind her and placed her hand on the girl's shoulder  
"Mikasa, give him some space"  
Eren could see how hard it was for Mikasa to forced herself to let him go and sit patiently on the edge of the bed. He looked up to Hanji and moved as if repositioning himself, "accidentally" moving the pillow in the process and he knew the woman had seen the knife when a small frown appeared upon her lips, he shifted again and slid the pillow back  
"It's fine Mikasa"  
"It's not fine! There's blood on the counter and on the walls!"  
"Mikasa, maybe you should give him some space"  
Mikasa glared at Hanji and the woman sighed  
"It's fine, I went to get some water last night and I cleaned the glass, when I let the water from the sink out I cut my hand on something, but it wasn't healing... I didn't want to disturb anymore so I just came back to bed..."  
Mikasa was dubious about the story and Hanji's frown grew  
"You didn't heal straight away?"  
Eren shook his head  
"Is it alright if I examine you. Which hand was it?"  
Hanji took his offered hand  
"There's no sign of cutting it. But I'd like to give you a bit more of a thorough examination. Why don't you guys go clean up and Eren and I will come join you as soon as we're done?"  
Mikasa nodded and stood, moving towards the door as Levi stepped into the room  
"I'll stay"  
Given Hanji was still holding his hand, he moved his thumb to rub "no" on her finger, she obviously got the message  
"It'll be fine Levi. You go keep the others preoccupied, this will only take a few minutes"  
It was clear the alpha wasn't impressed, but Hanji didn't stop staring at Levi until he left and once he did Eren let out a long breath. The woman immediately turned all her attention onto him  
"What really happened?"

Eren gave a small shake of his head  
"I healed just fine. I just needed a way to talk to you without Levi around... he's been watching me like a hawk"  
Hanji nodded quickly  
"I noticed that. How are things between you two?"  
In this case, lying was the safer bet and he began to put into play the narrative he'd written in his head  
"Good... well as good as things can be... he always stays with me after the experiments... but..."  
Eren bit his lip and looked down for effect  
"But...?"  
"Hanji, I don't think he's thinking straight. He... he... mentioned he wants me to fall pregnant..."  
Hanji let out a small "oh"  
"Is that right?"  
"Yeah... but I can't... I mean we've had sex... but you didn't want me taking anything incase it messed with my transforming into a Titan... I don't want to hurt him... so I can't tell him.. but shouldn't he know that I can't have a baby. Not with things the way they are?"  
He looked up to Hanji, real tears had formed with his last few words  
"No... I wish you could, but you're right... I'll talk with him"  
"No! No, please... just... given me something... even if it's once a month, just to abort anything growing..."  
"Eren!"  
Hanji was clearly shocked by the bluntness of his words  
"I can't..."  
"I can't Hanji. Please. I can't have his baby... and if he knew, he'd be so upset. It's better he thinks I can't carry past a certain point. At least for now"  
His tone rose and a small sob escaped  
"Eren, miscarriages are painful"  
"It's either that or I fall pregnant and something worse happens. Please. For everyone's sake"  
Hanji looked conflicted before nodding slowly  
"I'll make you up something for it... I'm so sorry it has to be like this... but I'm so relieved you and Levi at least have each other"  
Eren nodded, he didn't feel her relief at all. Hanji slipped the knife from under his pillow and up into her sleeve  
"We should go before everyone starts to worry"  
Eren nodded and quickly pushed the blankets off him  
"Thanks Hanji"  
Hanji gave him a small sad smile and a nod.

Hanji disappeared after breakfast and Eren threw himself into drying up the small pile of dishes while Connie washed. His ever present shadow hovered in the dining area, and Eren could feel the alphas gaze on him, Mikasa and Armin stood at the counter and were busying themselves with something else, but it was Jean who asked what the hell had happened and Eren let out a sigh  
"I cut my hand last night and it didn't heal straight away..."  
The teen looked mildly surprised at his words and Eren held up his right hand  
"I didn't even realise I'd bled so much until Mikasa woke me up in a panic"  
His sister shot him a look and he waved his hand  
"So that's why you and Hanji were late to breakfast. It's not going to affect the experiments is it?"  
"We don't know, it shouldn't... but we'll have to wait and see... it might just be because I've had to shift so much of late"  
Connie nodded and Jean went back to brushing down the potatoes  
"Whatever it is, you're all that we've got. You need to keep your head in the game"  
Eren nodded quickly and they fell back into silence. He hoped Levi had heard everything he'd just bullshitted to his friends.

After the kitchen was organised and cleaned to Levi's standards, the alpha pulled him aside, a frown upon his face  
"Did Hanji really say that?"  
Eren nodded, the man might be crazy, but he was stupidly smart  
"Yeah, but it'll be fine. I'll keep shifting as many times as we need"  
Levi's frown only deepened  
"Maybe we should give you today off. It's only a matter of time before this cabin is found and there's a chance we'll need you at fully functional when that happens"  
Eren shook his head  
"I'll be fine"  
Levi's grip tightened painfully on his arm and Eren tried not to wince  
"That's for me to decide, or do you want to get stupidly kidnapped again"  
The alpha's words were like a slap to face and he forcefully yanked his arm back from Levi's hold  
"Eren! There you are. Levi, I need to borrow Eren for a second"  
Levi turned to face Hanji, clearly not impressed by the interruption  
"If its about the experiments he's not doing them today"  
Hanji nodded  
"I was actually thinking we needed to come up with some new things to try, that's why I came to find him"

Eren could have kissed her, she slung an arm around his shoulder  
"Did you need him? If not I'd love to run through some ideas with him"  
Levi gave a small "Tch"  
"No, it's fine, but I'll have the final word in whether or not I accept your proposed changes"  
Eren nodded quickly and Hanji shot Levi a smile  
"Such a good alpha, you're always looking out for him aren't you?"  
Levi didn't reply, so Hanji lead Eren back towards his room. Once there Eren sat on the edge for the bed while Hanji sat next to him, she pulled a small folded piece of paper out her pocket  
"Here's what you asked about. Are you sure about this?"  
"Yeah"  
"It'll take a little while to kick in and then if your pregnant the bleeding will begin as you pass..."  
"Ok... it's ok, I've had worse... but what'll you tell Levi? About the experiments?"  
"Oh, I've got hundreds of ideas, you just leave that to me"  
Eren took the thin paper, the middle felt like it contained a pill and he unwrapped it carefully. He was right, unlike that nasty concoction from last time, it was a small off white pill. He quickly dry swallowed it  
"You should lay down and try and get comfortable..."  
Eren nodded and passed the paper back to Hanji, watching her slip it into her pocket before she moved so he could lay down  
"I'll stay with you a little longer and then I'll come back later to check on you..."  
"Yeah, Levi will be suspicious if you leave too soon"  
Hanji nodded  
"One day, when all this is over and man kind had triumphed, you'll have a family"  
"I don't know... Levi lives to kill titans, I can't picture him the settling down and raising kids type"  
Hanji snorted  
"Admit it, you can't picture him with a kid hanging off his hip"  
"Well, if it's yours I could. A little Eren would be cute... can you imagine a little Levi with that scowl of his"  
Eren laughed lightly, one hand moved to his stomach. His omega side was filled with the desire for that to happen, he swallowed hard and moved his hand out from under the blankets to find Hanji's. She took it in her own and squeezed gently, trying to reassure him  
"Trust me Eren, it'll be alright"

Hanji had stayed for about half an hour, she told him she'd let Levi know he was sleeping. Unsurprisingly the alpha let himself into Eren's room a few minutes after Hanji had left  
"Hanji said you were sleeping?"  
"Yeah... she wants me to rest today, since you gave me the day off and all..."  
Levi stripped his jacket off and then his boots, he placed both neatly on the rooms single chair, before crossing over to Eren's side and pulling back the blankets  
"Wha-What are you doing sir?"  
"Isn't it obvious. I'm guarding you"  
Eren was nudged aside slightly and Levi climbed under the blankets. He breathed in his alpha's smell, hating how amazing it was. Given the lack of space, he was laying face to face with the man... well Levi's head was more in line with his neck and the alpha breath was tickling his skin. He wondered if Levi could hear his pounding heart, it was all so intimate and he felt like he was going crazy. Blood rushed south and he blushed in shame, scolding his body as Levi's lips met his neck  
"S-sir..."  
"Don't try to deny it, I can feel how aroused you are"  
With a smooth fluid movement, Levi had him sitting in his lap, when the alpha rocked up Eren felt the man's erection rub teasingly against his arse. The blush in his face increased  
"Strip"  
Not wanting to upset Levi... not just yet anyway... he slid his his shirt up and tugged on the top of his pants. It was awkward trying to pull his pants off when Levi refused to let go of his hips, he felt disgustingly exposed as he sat there naked. It was like Levi could see right through him and a small smirk tugged at the corner of the alphas lips  
"Take the off"

Eren was confused, he was already naked and he followed Levi's gaze down to the man's own pants. His hands shook as he tried to get the alphas pants undone, it didn't help when Levi let out a "Tch" and released his hips, shoving him off  
"You should be able to do at least this much"  
Levi pulled his pants down just enough so they hung over his thighs straps  
"Put your hands against the end of the bed and stick your arse out"  
Eren nodded quickly and obeyed, the cramping feeling was beginning to start and he wanted Levi to hurry up and fuck him before fucking off. 

Levi's fingers began to open him and he moaned under the alpha's touch, his omega side was already going crazy and Eren wondered if it was because the pill was beginning to work. The alpha waisted no time with sliding three in and Eren's head hung limply as he shook. It wasn't fair how easily his body was brought apart by the man behind him. Levi pushed in as a cramp rolled through and he whimpered in pain and pleasure. The whole encounter was like that. The cramping only worsening each time Levi thrust in. He would have fallen onto the bed if Levi's knot hadn't been buried inside and humiliatingly there was a knock on the door  
"Eren?"  
Eren flinched at Armin's innocent tone, but Levi covered his mouth before Eren could tell the teen to leave. The door knob turned and Eren bit down on Levi's fingers, which the alpha rewarded by pushing impossibly deeper inside him. He closed his eyes just as Armin let out a small squeak and the door slammed  
"Sorry!"

Finally Levi removed his hand and grabbed Eren by the hair  
"How does it feel? He's your best friend right... your best friend just walked in on you sticking your arse out for your captain. I felt you clench so hard, it turned you on didn't it?"  
Eren shook his head. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He was livid and scared. Levi clearly had no issue with demonstrating his dominance. His stomach hurt and he wanted to scream, but instead the alpha slid his hand down and began to fondle him  
"See, you're hard again. Don't deny what you are"  
Eren whimpered as Levi teased the sensitive slit in between jerking him off. The alpha didn't even seem to realise he was in genuine pain... not until Levi's knot finally subsided enough for the alpha to slide free and even Eren could smell the blood, his knees gave out, but Levi lifted him easily  
"Fuck! Why didn't you tell me?"  
Eren shook his head and tried to push the alpha way  
"Hold on, I'll get to Hanji"  
Eren whimpered and shook his head  
"She... she can't help... just put me down"  
His words came between soft sobs, it hurt so badly but what was done was done. Levi placed him on the edge of the bed and Eren pulled the top blanket around him so he didn't have to face Levi naked  
"I still think you need to see Hanji"  
Eren moaned as Levi lifted him again, he covered his face as Levi began to carry him from room.

The alpha didn't knock before opening the door to Hanji's room, Eren cried quietly into his hands  
"Eren! What's wrong? What happened?"  
Eren shook his head, Hanji was a brilliant actress  
"I think he's miscarrying..."  
Hanji gave a small gasp  
"Lay him on the bed. Eren, I need to take a look"  
Levi laid him on the bed and moved him so he was laying on his side  
"What happened? I left him resting"  
"We were having sex and when I pulled out he was bleeding"  
Eren let and embarrassed groan and he felt his alpha card his hair and Hanji's fingers brushed over his skin  
"There's definitely tissue in the discharge. You're right, he's miscarrying"  
Levi made some kind of weird sigh, it almost bordered a sob, but not quite  
"Why don't you wait outside?"  
Hanji's suggestive sentence was gentle  
"I'm not leaving him while he's like this"  
"Levi, I'm going to give him a shot for the pain, he'll be out like a light soon"  
Eren was relieved he wouldn't have to be awake and suffer through the rolling cramps again. Hanji pulled the blanket back over so his arse wasn't hanging out. Eren heard her rummaging through her things  
"Small sting and then you'll start feeling better"  
Eren nodded and he felt a jab to his arse  
"All done, you'll be sore for a while afterwards, so if you need some more painkillers let me know"  
Eren nodded again  
"I'll take him back to his room. You take care of the brats"  
Levi moved the blanket around him before lifting him up and carried him back to his room. Levi carefully laid him down  
"I'll get you a towel"  
The door opened and closed and Eren curled around his stomach, he was already falling asleep and was trying to calm himself enough so he could give in. He was asleep before Levi returned.

*  
Being chained and remembering consuming his father... all this time he'd thought Levi a monster, but to have eaten his own family... he had no right to feel the pain that constricted his chest and ached in his heart. Watching Historia's resolution only drove home the fact that he shouldn't exist. She alone could do what he couldn't, she could bring the peace the world needed, not him and if he had to die, than so be it. 

As Kenny sliced across his forehead and his vision was tainted red, Historia looked to him all he could do was beg her to end things with him. This monster was never his to cage. He lowered his head and waited. He deserved this and so much more. It just like they say "the sins of the father are passed onto the child". He'd never truly known his father, the man might as well have been a stranger.

Yet, Historia hesitated. She needed answers to questions he'd just resided himself to never knowing. He raised his head to stare down at the blonde haired girl, her fingers poised to plunge down on the depresser of the syringe. Why couldn't she just hurry up? And then she surprised him, the sound of the smashing glass was faint, but it may as well have been deafening, she was sentencing him to the keeper of this monster inside.

Even as her father turned into a titan, she stayed with him. She told him he was needed, she called him a friend. But she didn't know the guilt he felt... And then... his friends came. He wanted to scream, if no one had interfered than maybe things wouldn't have wound up like this, the disgusting meekness spilled from his tongue. But all it took was one look from Levi to quell that... One look to his alpha to know what to do. To finally take a real chance with the monster inside.


	8. Chapter 8

With the death of her father and the coronation Historia's had moved beyond them all. Given they were temporarily grounded at the orphanage, Levi stayed close to his side. The alphas attitude had changed and his friends were nearly strangers, it was like getting to know them all over again. 

Every day he practiced hardening over and over and every night he could, Levi came to him. His dose with the memories and madness had made him realise one thing. Levi had no lines between him and his monster and both at the same time showed him affection the only way they could, through violence. 

His heat rolled in at the worst time, Levi didn't have time to take a week off to spend with him, to pacify his needs. There still so many things they needed to do. He'd tried to lock himself away, he'd tried to beg Hanji to leave Levi to his work... the woman ignored him. His body burnt and this time there'd be no Reiner or Bertholdt to sooth the fever, the memory still left a bitter taste in his mouth. But unexpectedly Levi came. He smelt him even before he pushed open the door, slick practically gushed from him when the alpha finally stepped in the room. He panted and squirmed, trying to articulate some form of sentence between the pants. He wanted to be hurt.

Levi crossed and pulled the sheets back and he sucked a sharp breath in. Levi easily stripped, the alpha finally baring everything to him  
"Eren?"  
Driven half mad with need he threw himself on the man and nuzzled against the alphas neck desperately   
"Slow down brat"  
Eren shook his head and slid his hands up Levi's back, the tips caught on the ridges of scars and he rocked his hips, grinding his erection between them   
"Eren..."  
Levi growled his name, but Eren didn't back off, and Levi shoved him down onto the bed so hard the air was driven from his lungs. Even though he struggled for breath, he spread his legs and his hand slid down his right thigh. Before he could slide any closer to his slickened entrance Levi's hand grabbed his wrist roughly and the flare of pain made him moan  
"Slow down"  
Given his right wrist was firmly restrained, he slid his left hand down only for Levi to take ahold of that one too. The alpha pulled him up by his wrists and he whimpered as the hold tightened  
"Is this what you want?"  
He sucked in a breath, his lungs were burning and goosebumps covered his chest, his body was going into overdrive and all his senses were heightened. Levi leant in until the alphas teeth rested against his shoulder, without saying a word he bit down and Eren shuddered through his scream. Levi was biting with the intent of causing serious damage... or at least to someone without this human cage of his. He felt Levi's teeth tear through his skin and his head lolled back as blood ran down from the wound. Finally Levi pulled back, Eren's blood dribbled down his chin and Eren flicked his tongue out to lick it away  
"My precious monster. You have no idea the things I want to do"

Neither could remember what happened during the heat. But coming down they found the room covered in blood, and Levi eyed Eren as Eren stared at the mess. His alpha was relatively scratch free, which meant that almost every drop came from him. But unlike before he wasn't scared  
"Eren?"  
Eren nodded slowly, he made to stand, but slipped on blood and Levi caught him easily  
"Are you ok?"  
He nodded again, he was honestly more than ok. His omega side was sated and he felt a kind of peace he'd never felt before, he moved to stand in the centre of all the blood and felt a smile form across his lips. He turned to look at Levi. It was almost laughable the difference between them. His own body was crusted in cum, slick and mostly blood... but Levi... the drops were intermittently scattered across the man's pale flesh and a shiver ran up his spine. He wanted more of that monster.

Crossing to where Levi sat on the bed he grabbed the alphas hair roughly, like Levi had done to him so many times before and straddled the man's lap, he leant in and bit down on Levi's ear and Levi let out a breathy moan. He pulled back and licked over the bite, before whispering   
"Hurt me more"  
With a snarl Levi shoved him down and flipped him over, holding his face hard against the mattress  
"You have no idea how erotic you look covered in your own blood... I always thought you looked the most beautiful when covered in blood"  
Eren felt no pain as his alpha pushed inside. It didn't matter that he couldn't breath, it's not like it would kill him. Levi fucked him as hard as he could, the man abusing his sweet spot over and over until he came. He felt no pain until he came, it was like he'd orgasmed glass. It only added to the intensity and he came again while Levi knotted him. Once firmly joined together Levi pulled him up against his chest and slid his hand up, taking the nub of his right nipple and twisting hard. His eyes rolled back as cum dribbled out  
"It looks like you finally understand"  
Eren nodded weakly against him and Levi slid his fingers from his nipple to his aching dick. The alphas thumb ran over the slit and a sharp pain ran through his whole length. He felt something sliding out, but couldn't muster the effort to look  
"Look"

Between the pads of Levi's pointer finger and thumb, a thin strand of wire swung  
"This body of yours... it was made for me"  
His heart leapt at Levi's words, stupidly happy in that instant and when Levi's knot finally began to deflate the alpha slid out and moved away. The loss hurt like a slap to the face and Eren turned to face Levi. He'd expected to see the man's scowling face, but instead was presented with the sight of the alphas bared neck. He didn't hesitate and bit down hard. Levi's blood filled his mouth and he moaned at the taste  
"And like that, two monsters become one"  
Eren released Levi's neck and licked the blood from the sight. The way it ran from his nape and down to hit the scars between Levi's shoulders blades was like a work of art.

*  
Hanji came to check on them that night. The woman was horrified to find them sitting on the bloodied floor, Eren was between Levi's legs and the alpha had his hands firmly pressed against his stomach. Eren could understand her fear, no normal person would sit inside this room for hours without going insane. She ordered Levi out first, forcing him to break the hold and dress before leaving Eren alone with her. Her first question was   
"What happened?"  
Eren could feel the smile tugging at the sides of his lips  
"We don't remember"  
Hanji frowned  
"Usually omegas have some moments of lucidity..."  
Eren shook head and the woman came to his side. She withdrew a small piece of paper and Eren knew immediately what it was. He held his hand out and she opened it before placing the pill in his palm. Eren downed it before she could say anything else. This time the pill was heavy to swallow, he immediately wanted to stick his fingers down his throat and vomit it back up, but the look in Hanji's eyes told him not to  
"I'll get Armin to help you shower"  
Eren shook his head  
"I'm fine Hanji, it's just a bit of blood"  
Hanji's eyes widened and she grabbed his shoulders   
"Eren, this isn't normal. The room is bathed in blood..."  
"And soon I'll bleed out whatever growing inside and then it'll happen all over again"  
The woman frowned and Eren moved from her hold. He found his pants bundled up under the ruined blankets and slid them on before walking towards the door. He didn't look back as he walked from the room. Levi had accepted the darkness inside him, just like he'd realised the more the alpha hurt him the more Levi cared. No one else might understand, but then again they were human. What hope does a normal human have to understand the mind of a monster like them.

Levi once again accepted that Eren had lost their child, but Eren swore he saw part of the light in the alphas eyes die. Levi stayed with him that night, Eren's head resting in his lap. It didn't matter the alpha had cleaned himself up, he seemed more than content to hold Eren as fresh blood spilt over old. Despite the new understanding and development between them, Eren didn't feel the need to confess his sin.

*  
With the creation of the guillotine, mankind took another leap forward, his body just needed a moment to catch up with the excitement he felt. He stood after his bleeding nose had stopped, only to sway and Levi lifted him easily. Hanji looked like she was going to keel over from happiness at any moment, but as Levi lead him away she had no idea that the alpha was already hard. They found a small alcove away from prying eyes and Levi pinned him up against the wall, Eren could only hold him weakly as his nose began to bleed again and Levi slammed into him over and over until he passed out exhausted.

When Hanji came to check up on him later that evening, she wasn't pleased at all. Sure Eren seemed enthused about things, but apparently he was displaying the wrong emotions about others, such as his clear arousal at the thought of pain. The woman went so far as to even suggest he should be separated from Levi, at least temporarily, pending a psychiatric evaluation. Erwin over ruled her. Their goal of reaching the basement was so close, things would be remain how they were until the mission succeeded. Still, the woman became his secondary shadow, even enlisting his friends to report back to her over all his observed actions. It was Levi who stepped in, the alpha began giving him subtle signals when he went to far without realising, teaching him how to cover his monsters cage with the human mask he once wore. He truly understood what Historia meant about Krista, playing at being what everyone wanted was frustrating and tiring. The mission couldn't come fast enough, he was so pent up that not even sex was easing the burn inside. He needed to feel the tug of resistance as his blades sliced through the necks of his fellow monsters, to rip and tear them limb for limb... 

Standing atop the wall and looking out, his heart was racing, out there the answers laid and he'd be seeing it all with Levi by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeesh, trying to sit here and write and everyone insists on being noisy...
> 
> Also idk if you'll find this funny, but you know how I work on my iPhone, it tried to predictive text me  
> "Historia hesitated"  
> Turned into  
> "Historia he's a tater"


	9. Chapter 9

Amidst the chaos of cleanup Levi had little time for him, but the few moments he spent by his side, Eren was choking on the pain rolling off the alpha, he'd lost his best friend afterall. Choosing Armin naturally made Eren happy, he just wished that there had been another way. The four hours spent waiting for his friend to waken was hard. Only 9 of them had survived after all, and they were only there because of him. When Levi left to consult with Hanji, he didn't follow. It'd been a while since this sickening guilt had left him so disgusted.

Upon their return, Grisha's memories flowed and he found himself growing more and more insane with everything he saw. He couldn't even remember being confined. The atmosphere upon his release was awkward between him and Levi. He didn't know how to get back to where they were before. He found himself mumbling and yelling and even other people began to avoid him, Hanji looked upon him with pity and he wondered if this was how things would remain. Perhaps the most surprising thing had been learning that Levi carried the same royal blood as Historia, despite being an Ackerman. They didn't talk about it, only Eren, Levi and Historia knew, and Historia was purely by accident when she was bestowing his medal upon him. After discussion it was decided that no one else needed to know, it would only bring more chaos on the back of the truth that the whole island was wished extinct by a world they didn't even know existed.

*  
It was about two weeks after the ceremony that Levi finally came to him, with everything that had happened he couldn't tell just how many weeks had passed since they'd last had a completely unguarded moment. The short alpha sighed deeply as he entered Eren's room and Eren's head snapped up in response  
"Levi?"  
Levi just shook his head and looked back down as he sat upon the end of Eren's bed. Everyone was saying that Armin was only chosen because of him and Mikasa, it'd served to place further distance between them  
"Eren, we need to talk"  
His mouth went dry and his heart pounded, isn't this what people always said before a break up? He looked across his bed to Levi. His chest tightened   
"W-we do...?"  
"It's about what comes next. If we only have 8 years, then what is it you want to do?"  
Eren let out a small breath  
"We continue on... we help to stabilise the city, we kill the titans and we carry on to find freedom"  
Levi nodded  
"We could leave. We could walk away. I will take you anywhere you want..."  
Eren realised his mate was serious and moved to kneel beside his alpha, resting his forehead against the man's shoulder  
"What ever we decide, it has to wait..."  
"Eren, we don't know what will happen. I want to make some kind of memories of you before we die..."  
Eren shook his head slightly  
"Neither of us are going anywhere, not any time soon..."  
"You don't know that!"  
"But I do! I can't go beyond the walls... not right now"  
Levi's hand came up and cupped is left cheek  
"I need to tell you something..."  
Eren's voice was low, the memories of his father's happiness at the birth of both his sons haunted him... even if everything between his mother had started as a cover, the man had come to love both of them and Levi needed to know what he'd done  
"I... didn't miscarriage. I aborted. The first time... I didn't think I could have a child to a monster like you, and the second I felt nothing for doing it"  
Levi nodded   
"I've been waiting for you to finally tell me. But why now?"  
"I'm pregnant again... and this time, I don't know what to do"  
Levi smiled softly as Eren's eyes filled with tears  
"Do you want this child?"  
"I do..."  
Eren's hands rested on his stomach  
"Then we take the time, there'll come a day we'll have to leave them behind, but I won't deny you this. There's been too much death"  
Eren cried softly as Levi pulled him against him. Two monsters... could they really create something innocent?

"Hanji will need to know..."  
Levi had moved them so Eren was spooned against him, the alphas hand on his stomach and Levi's personal knife sat just past their forms  
"I don't know if that's for the best... we can't be how we once were..."  
"She's our commanding officer"  
"But you must have noticed the lingering animosity..."  
"So what do you propose we do then?"  
"I'll stay here, I'll stay with Historia and we'll try and draw the rest of the worlds history from my mind"  
"And what am I going to do?"  
"Kill titans... we all saw how you were after Zeke, you need to fulfill your promise to Erwin"  
"Yeah, there as so many things I regret from that day"  
"It was cruel of me to beg for Armin"  
"Erwin's the one who chose, he deserved to sleep"  
Eren nodded   
"I wish I'd killed Reiner, I keep running the what ifs through my head and every time I think of him all I want to do is tear him apart. I don't want his legacy to pass. I don't want to kill the one who will inherit his memories. It won't be the same if I don't paint the streets with his blood"  
Levi snorted and Eren rolled in his arms  
"You've been acting so meek, it's nice to know your fangs are still sharp"  
"I can't help it. All these memories... it's driving me crazy. I feel what they feel, I see what they see. I still haven't told Mikasa and Armin all of it..."  
Levi raised an eyebrow and Eren took a breath  
"The titan who killed my mother and Hannes, was Dina Fritz. My father's first wife..."  
"Fuck"  
"Yeah"  
"You don't have to tell them if you don't want to"  
"I do. Bertholdt probably already knows, and who knows what will happen when Armin gains his memories"  
Tears began to roll back down Eren's face and Levi's sent shifted towards arousal  
"You're so beautiful in tears"

The alpha rolled over and pinned him down, he took the knife into his hands and ran the blade down, slicing through Eren's shirt and exposing the smallest of swells   
"I suppose I won't be able to hurt you like before..."  
Eren shook his head  
"I want it to hurt..."  
Levi pressed the tip to the centre of his rib cage and pressed down, down the blade towards his navel and tendrils of steam rose. Eren began to slick the moment the blade had pierced his skin, he shivered from the look of hunger in his alphas eyes and raised his hands to the bedhead, placing one over the other  
"Through the hands"  
Levi nodded, he brought the blade up and then thrusted it through his hands, Levi's lips caught his scream and Eren rocked up. His body had missed this. He'd missed the pain, the dark way Levi's monster completely dominated him. Levi didn't hold back on the kiss was broken. He roughly tore down the omegas pants and spread Eren's legs as wide as he could  
"We'll need to find new things to do"  
Eren nodded, normal sex wouldn't be possible for them. Even if he wished to carry to full term. With the knife in his hands, Levi was limited to what he could do, that an he knew the alpha didn't want to risk losing this child, not when he actually wanted it. Instead he merely choked Eren, which alone didn't cause the omega to orgasm. It wasn't until Levi was about to knot him that the alpha ripped the blade out and he screamed Levi's name as he came. 

Whatever this man gave him would be his everything.


	10. Chapter 10

With Eren being pregnant, Levi laid down ground rules so his mate wouldn't push himself too far and risk their child's health. One new guillotine a week, one training session with Armin in their titan forms a week and one day with Historia a week. It was frustrating for Eren, even when he knew he could keep going, the alpha refused to let him. He'd also made it clear that in case something happened, only he was allowed to cut Eren from his titan form. Initially they'd kept the pregnancy secret, but soon fatigue and morning sickness meant telling their small group of friends. Hanji wasn't impressed given they had no idea if and when the world would move against them, but the others seemed happy enough. Mikasa cried and Eren chose to believe they were happy tears.

By the third month, he could no longer shift. Instead, perhaps because he was carrying a child with Reiss blood, Eren could barely stay coherent as memories flooded his mind and left him a babbling mess and due to this, more than once he tried to commit suicide. It was then that Levi took him away from the capital. They left under the cover of darkness and only Armin was given the details of where they'd be. Something else that Hanji was less than thrilled about.

Eren didn't know where they were or how they even got there, he was tired and hormonal and just frustrated... but still, Levi didn't leave his side. It was a weird feeling to be almost human again, to know no matter how much he tried he couldn't shift and thanks to the pregnancy his healing powers had been greatly reduced. The wounds would heal like they never existed though this sometimes took days. To make up for this lack in healing, Levi would often bind and gag him during sex. 

By the 7th month, Eren had lost almost all grip on reality, he couldn't escape the memories, even as he slept. He was lucky to have an hour or two of clarity in a day to spend with Levi. The alpha loved his pregnant belly and Eren had given Levi permission to fuck him, even if his mind was elsewhere. He'd woken up more than once to find Levi already inside him and it thrilled him that the alpha could want him that badly.

However by the middle of the 8th month, he had to ask Levi to do what would be unthinkable to all others, to cut their child from him. He couldn't eat and was no longer able to sleep, his body was growing thinner and fragile around his painfully swollen abdomen. Levi hadn't been sure at first, but Eren had begged. Any further and he was sure both he and their child would die, so the alpha consented.

The night it happened was to turn very sexual and sensual. Levi had brought him to orgasm over and over until his body was completely spent and they were a mess of slick and cum, Eren rested in Levi's arms as the alpha sterilised the knife he'd use  
"Are you sure?"  
Eren nodded quickly and Levi nuzzled his neck before kissing it gently. The short alpha then slipped from being the omega and moved to sit between Eren's legs, the teens were over his own and Levi ran both hands across his stomach before looking Eren in the eyes  
"Are you ready?"  
Eren nodded quickly and swore he could see hunger in his mates eyes as Levi drew the blade deeply across the bottom of the swell. He screamed in pain and couldn't help but piss himself, still Levi ignored it and soon black spots danced across his vision and he couldn't stay conscious any longer.

*  
When he woke, Levi's arm was across his stomach, the wound had healed and he assumed that meant the child was born. He blinked a few times before pushing himself up and Levi woke as he did  
"Hey"  
Eren gave Levi a small smile before yawning  
"What happened?"  
Levi smirked and Eren watched as the alpha slipped from the ruined bed. He moved to the corner of the room and picked up what Eren assumed to be their child from the small crib  
"What is it?"  
"They, are both boys"  
"They?"  
Levi turned and Eren smiled at the sight of his mate with their children. The alpha carefully return to his side and Eren sat up properly, the inside of his thighs and his arse felt wet and gross, but he couldn't care. Both children were so perfect and he took the child offered by Levi. It took just one look for his breasts to ache and he followed his instincts raising the child to his nipple and helping the small boy to latch to it  
"Any complications?"  
Levi shook his head and Eren nodded  
"How long was I out?"  
"A few hours, you began to heal almost as soon as I pulled the second twin out"  
"And have you thought of names?"  
Levi shook his head and shifted his hold on their other son  
"No, I delivered and cleaned them both before settling them down and climbing into bed with you"  
Eren smiled down at the feeding boy  
"I don't think I've ever been so in love as I am right now"  
"I know what you mean. It'll be hard leaving them behind"  
"Yeah, but it's for their own good. I hope by the time they reach our age they'll truly be free"  
Levi snorted lightly  
"You do realise you're only slightly older than I was when you were born"  
Eren shrugged  
"We have 7 and a bit years to end all this. If not, we'll need to find a new host"  
"Yeah, someone who's not of the Reiss line..."  
"And someone who'll keep you company once in gone"  
Levi let out a low growl  
"I'm not taking another mate once that happens"  
Eren didn't reply, instead his son released his hold on the omegas nipple and Eren immediately brought him up to burp him  
"We can't force one of the twins to take the power. I've seen way too much of my mother to wish our sex life upon them"  
Levi laughed, actually laughed and Eren just shook his head  
"If Hanji was here, she'd think us crazy"  
"Hanji already knows we're crazy, but I guess most parents don't talk about the things to come and leaving their children so soon"  
"Are you sure about that?"  
Levi placed the twin he'd been holding down and lifted the burped boy off Eren's shoulder. He placed the child on Eren's lap and passed the boys brother to the teen. Eren stared over the small body in his arms at his once again flat stomach  
"It's like I was never pregnant at all"  
Levi nodded  
"Yeah... You were still swollen when I fell asleep"  
"You're going to miss the swell aren't you?"  
"Yes and no. It means we can go back to how things were before"  
Eren blushed lightly, he knew exactly what Levi meant and the idea of rough and violent sex after moments had his heart racing. They both sat their quietly until their boy finished feeding and was burped before Levi laid both twins down  
"We need to shower and change the sheets and then we can sit down and talk names"  
Eren nodded and yawned again, he still felt drained and assumed it was to do with how much blood he would have lost. Levi stood and reached a hand out for him, but the moment Eren went to stand, his knees gave out and his mate was forced to lift and carry him through to the bathroom. Levi placed him straight down into the empty bath and Eren closed his eyes  
"Are you alright?"  
"Sleepy... really sleepy"  
"If I leave the taps running, do you think you can turn them off?"  
Eren nodded but had no actual confidence he could, his body was growing heavier by the second and while Levi was carrying him cramping had begun to start, in what he assumed was his body attempting to remove any traces left behind of the pregnancy  
"Don't put the plug in..."  
"Alright"  
Warmth rushed up his legs and arse as Levi turned the taps on, the alpha pressed a kiss to his lips  
"I'll be stripping the bed, I'll come back when it done and we can bathe properly"  
Eren nodded and listened to Levi leaving. He couldn't even be embarrassed over whatever was beginning to pass from his arse, nor did he open his eyes to look. His mind was instead on their children. Twins. Premature babies were hard enough to keep alive, but two boys... he'd tried to keep it from showing, but he was so deeply in love with both of them, he didn't know if he really could just leave them behind. 

Levi returned and Eren opened his eyes as his mate shook his shoulder  
"Bed done. If you move forward I'll clean you properly"  
It took him a moment to realise that Levi must have been there a while. The plug was in and the bath now half full. He sleepily forced himself onto his knees and leant forward giving Levi access to his arse and thighs. His alpha didn't bother being gentle as he scrubbed the filth away, and soon Eren was panting as Levi's fingers moved to clean inside him as well  
"Only you could have someone cut two children from your stomach and be begging for release a few hours later"  
Eren turned to look over his shoulder at Levi and glared, the alpha responded with a hard thrust against his sweet spot and Eren moaned openly. Levi drew his fingers out and smirked  
"You need to rest"  
Eren tried to stand and protest, but his body didn't listen and Levi caught him mid fall  
"Look at you, so weak and pathetic"  
Levi's words were playful, an insult to anyone else, but to Eren they were words of love and he shivered. His alpha shook his head and kept his hold on him as Levi stepped into the water and sank down behind Eren, before pulling Eren down hard into his lap. His alphas erection rubbed against his testicles and Eren squirmed trying to rise so he could sink down properly, but Levi held him tight until the small about of energy he had faded  
"Levi... please..."  
Pathetic weakness rolled off his words and Levi slid his hands up and groped Eren's breasts, the pads of his thumb and pointer squeezed hard and Eren shuddered and moaned  
"Please what?"  
"Please fuck me"  
Levi snorted and lifted him by his breasts, basically dragging him up before dropping him down firmly and the tip of the man's erection breached him. Eren could feel the water inside of him, but really didn't care. It was sloppy and awkwardly, water sloshed everywhere, but it was what he needed and he came with a nasally whimper as Levi knotted him  
"It's a shame you won't be back in heat for another 6 months, having my hands inside you... I couldn't help but want more"  
Eren sighed against Levi's shoulder and Levi pressed a small kiss to the teens temple.

*  
They made the most of the time they had with their sons, they weren't expected back for at least another month, so Levi spent most of the time trying to fatten Eren back up, while Eren took care of the boys. Both boys had green grey eyes, brown hair and fair skin, almost identical in every way except for a small black birth spot behind of the boy they'd called Reni. His twin was Viren, they'd used their own names so their children would at least have that legacy if something was to happen to them. 

When the day came to finally leave, Eren found he had no particular feelings for the small cabin they'd been living in. He wondered if he should, like he did about Shinganshima, but he just didn't. He didn't even look back as Levi took up the reins and began to lead the supply wagon back towards capital. 

They arrived like they'd left, in the middle of the night and Hanji was shocked to see them. She was less than impressed about Levi's delivery methods and insisted that both babies needed a thorough check up. Eren let her do as she wished, and Levi hovered close by incase she laid a single finger wrongly on their sons. She insisted on taking blood samples, but agreed both boys were happy and healthy, finally congratulating them both. 

Like Hanji, the rest of their friends were shocked to see them when they all came down for breakfast. Levi had been stuck debriefing Hanji over the birth and Eren had stayed up with both boys as neither wanted to sleep. Armin was the first demanding cuddles and Eren couldn't help but smile as the blonde "oohed" over the twins. Even Jean kept his horseface shut, but Eren could see the way he was staring at Mikasa.

It was just over a year after the fight at Shinganshima that they found themselves standing atop the wall and looking towards the horizon. Both boys would be raised in the castle by Historia until the pair returned and Eren couldn't help but feel like he was doing something terrible. He steeled his nerves and took a deep breath. This goodbye wasn't forever, merely a "see you later".


End file.
